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Sunday, May 4, 2014

Thank Goodness My Husband Chases Storms...? 4/27/14

I knew on Thursday that my trip home from Little Rock today might be dicey. I considered, very briefly, to come home last night to avoid the potential danger I could face driving up the Missouri/Kansas border to my home in Kansas City. That (would-be) 7-hour drive (6 hours for ol' Lead Foot here) was supposed to be smack-dab in the middle of the moderate risk area. Anyone who follows storms like my husband does (literally, he follows them, the fool), will tell you that moderate risk days are not to be trifled with. [ugh, dangling participle]


Mother Nature wasn't playing around today either. 


I made  the fortuitous, and educated, decision to leave Little Rock before nine this morning. I only drove through one moderate downpour, and had virtually no issues with rain otherwise, except leaving my gas cap off for 120 miles during said downpour . 


Around 1:30, my husband contacted me to ask where I was. "Lamar (MO)," I told him. 


"Don't stop," he replied. "There's a storm coming up behind you going about 60 miles per hour." 


"Not a problem. It'll never catch me!" 


(Please don't tell the cops, but my speed was between 83 and 88 miles per hour nearly the entire trip. I'm not bragging, and if my mother ever reads this, she will no doubt reprimand her 40 year-old daughter, but I am admitting my guilt. Like I said, please don't tell the highway patrol.)


I was right. I missed all the weather. I missed the tornadoes (plural) that ran along Highway 40 on which I had just sped, my satellite radio blasting, just a few hours prior. I missed the mayhem, the disaster, the lives lost, the property destroyed. 


And for that, I thank my crazy, adrenaline-riddled husband who chases storms and worries me constantly every spring. That dumbass (and I mean that lovingly) kept me from harm's way. Guess he wants to keep me around a little longer. 


Probably because he needed clean socks.

What Does a Writer Feel Like? 4/26/14

Today was a spectacular day. I met, spoke with, shook hands with, and ultimately became a fan of 7 different authors. As each one spoke, I felt myself lifting out of the body of a sometimes bitter high school teacher and settling into the writer I know I am. Highlights are as follows:


10:00am - Panel with Curtis Sittenfield, author of Prep, American Wife, and Sisterland, and Mona Simpson, author of Anywhere But Here and Casebook. Each spoke frankly about writing when trying to raise kids and have a "normal" life. Sittenfield seemed so down-to-earth, as if she would be the mom who reluctantly volunteers for able sales and PTA events because she feels guilty her kids are often under-represented in the social stratosphere of suburbia. Mona Simpson, whose children are older, is a professor whose students probably hang on every word. Of course, these are assumptions based on the panel discussion, but I can understand Sittenfield's balancing act as she tries to carve out time for her young children while sticking to publishing deadlines and book tours like she is on now. 


11:30am - Mary Beth Keane, author of Fever (fictionalized account of Typhoid Mary that I cannot wait to read) and Wiley Cash, author of This Dark Road to Mercy. Both authors are new to me. Unlike Simpson and Sittenfield, whose books I've read most of, these are two writers whose work has flown beneath my radar, but I attended the panel because both novels sounded interesting, and so did the blurb about the discussion on the festival website. I was enthralled. Absolutely enraptured with their discussion. Cash has a smart, Southern boy charm; Keane is intelligent, and I could tell she wasn't entirely comfortable with speaking before crowds. Fortunately, it wasn't a large one, and she warmed to our little audience quickly when talking about her book. One could tell she had much to say about class, about social mobility and construction in the Victorian Era, and how we are so quick to make villains out of people who, through no fault of their own, become public enemy number one. Cash's description of North Carolina and of his characters left me wanting more. When I handed my copy of his book to him to sign, I was terribly tongue-tied, but was able to squeak out my name and the correct spelling of it. Just a little literary crush. Nothing to see here. Move along. 


2:30pm - Panel of authors and editor of The Shoe Burnin', stories written by a group of Southern writers who gather annually to sit by the fire, burn shoes, and share stories. This was the most entertaining panel of the day, as married writers Joe Formichella and Suzanne Hudson, along with Shari Smith, discussed the inception of the book and musical CD that accompanies it. They spoke with humor about things great and small, and I became an instant fan. None of them had I ever heard of before today, but I will purposefully seek out their writings from now on. That Suzanne Hudson is a quietly dark writer with whom I feel the upmost literary and professional connection. She has just retired from teaching high school English and Spanish, and I could just tell we would have much in common discussing the problems of public education today. Her husband Joe kept the discussion light, and Shari Smith cracked us all up with her Southern flair for everything funny. Their stories could have gone on all day and I would have stayed until my bladder burst or my ears bled. 


I spent far too much money on books, and I need a new bookshelf to hold all of my autographed copies so I don't mistreat or lend them to others. I just couldn't! 


My reader's cup overfloweth, but my inkwell is freshly filled, and I am ready to get down and dirty with writing. Maybe one day I will be invited to be a panelist. That is my sincerest wish. Hopefully I won't have to wait until retirement. 



Arkansas Drivers Do Not Yield 4/25/14

Sweeping generalization, I know, but after being cut off mercilessly no fewer than 5 times between Conway and Little Rock (a span of about 25 highway miles, nearly all of which are currently under construction) by four semi trucks and one bright green Kia with no hubcaps and sporting the name Torres across the back windshield in a "Traditional Gothic" font (I looked that shit up), I can make this generalization with a slight bit of authority, however hyperbolic it may be. 


Despite the six-point-five hour drive, I made it to downtown Little Rock for the literary festival. As I write this, my forty year-old feet are propped up to bring the blood back into the reaches of my circulatory system and out of my ankles. That is a long-ass drive. 


The area around my downtown hotel is filled with people - thriving, one might say. I circled the block before arriving (because I honestly did not know where to park) and saw two restaurant patios full of almost middle-aged people like myself and baby boomers. (Technically, I realize I am middle-aged, but I still think of my parents when someone says the term, so give me a few more months to get used to it, OK?)


I am here on a quest of self-discovery. The festival is an excuse to step out of my comfort zone. I booked the hotel and pre-paid months ago so I couldn't back out. Last night and this morning, I probably would have had I not paid our hard-earned money on the reservation. 


My anxiety level is tremendously high - or it was this morning before I left and last night before I finally fell asleep. I know I have issues with crowds and with being by myself in a crowd and with doing things alone in general. A few years ago I had an anxiety attack trying to register at a Jazzercise convention. Too many other women around, too little air to breathe. I didn't make it into the convention room before I was out of breath and sweating as if I had just worked out with Judi Sheppard Missett herself. I went to my car and drove home from the hotel where it was held in tears. I lost money on the registration at the convention, and that pissed me off. 


Last summer I suffered one trying to find a parking spot to meet a friend for an outdoor Shakespearean play. I texted my friend, told her I was sick, and I went home instead of getting out of the car. I sobbed all the way to the house then, too. My husband consoled me, but I felt like a loser. Such simple tasks, and I couldn't do them. 


Turning forty probably wasn't the catalyst for this sudden desire to finally put on my big girl pants and do something on my own, but it certainly is a motivator. I am learning about anxiety, and my need to overcome it without medicating myself into the blue nothingness (as antidepressant drugs made me feel when I had postpartum depression years ago). I will conquer this shit, and I'm starting today. Now. 


I need to do this, to step out into the evening air in downtown Little Rock and see the sights, to taste what it has to offer. Only then can I get up again tomorrow and navigate the city streets to listen and learn from writers with more guts than I currently have with the hope of gaining some of my own. 


Fortunately, it is all within walking distance, and I won't have to deal with those crazy Arkansas drivers until Sunday.

Big Girl Trips 4/23/14

I haven't ever been on my own. Not really. I had roommates in college, a live-in boyfriend during and after (who eventually became my husband), and a baby a year after getting my degree. When baby daddy and I separated for a little while while we both got our shit together, I still had the baby almost every night, so I can confidently say that I have spent maybe a dozen nights alone in my life. 


What is an independent woman of 40 supposed to do when she wants to be alone - truly alone - for a few days? 


She takes a road trip by her ever-loving self, that's what. 


In fewer than two days, I will get in my car and drive away, far away, from my family and job. I will spend most of the daylight hours in the car, but when I arrive, I will check into a hotel, grab my laptop and my purse, and head outdoors to a literary festival. I'm going to go pick the brains of writers I've never heard of. I'm going to listen and soak up the literary genius and the hackneyed advice alike. I am going to sit in cafés, visit a presidential library, and write. No laundry, no dishes, no papers to grade. Just me, myself, and my thoughts...along with a few thousand other people attending the same festival. 


I will be on my own for the first time in 40 years, if only for a couple days, and I couldn't be more excited. 


Stay tuned...

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Michelle Rhee and Her Sponsors Talk Out Their Asses

My coworker and friend invited me to hear Michelle Rhee upon the TFA graduate turned how-to-fix-American-schools writer and speaker's visit to Kansas City last week. It was to be held at the public library. At first, I thought, why the hell would I want to hear that woman talk out her ass? My next thought was, I've never heckled anyone before. This could be my only chance. What fun! So I decided to go. (Honestly, I wouldn't heckle anyone - not enough to get thrown out of a joint anyway.)

My friend got an email from the KC Public Library stating that the event had unexpectedly received more than 1,000 responses, so if we wanted to get a seat, we needed to arrive early. As teachers, we know what this means. Turns out, two hours early did the trick. We were two of the first ticket recipients and behind no more than 50 people when we arrived back after eating a delicious dinner at Mixx. (Free advertising, Mixx! I could really use a complementary sandwich!)

If you've never been to the KC Public Library, Plaza Branch, you should go. That place is gorgeous, and full of my favorite things in the world. In fact, I want to be cremated and my ashes blown through the ventilation system in the library so my dust falls upon millions of books. Mmmmkay?

Anywho...

The line was full of KCMO teachers who had banded together through their teachers association to hear (and maybe heckle, too) Ms. Rhee talk about her experiences in teaching (not many), as chancellor of the DC schools (short-lived and controversial), and her new book. (No free advertising for Rhee here. I don't need a copy of her book, thanks.) She was announced briefly with humor by Henry Fortunto and then interviewed by Crosby Kemper III. You can actually watch the video here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxgwhyfNyaY&feature=youtu.be to see for yourself.

The event was free to the public. I wouldn't have gone otherwise. I wondered - at least until I got to the foot of the stairs and saw the "suits" with "literature" on a table across from the reception area (where they were serving wine with felafel & hummus) - where the money for her talk came from. Classy, I thought. Must be some fancy dandies putting out this spread. Those fancy dandies are members of the organization called Show-Me Institute, and they were handing out (or standing by while guests mulled over) the numerous handouts they brought, most of which were full-color and multi-page booklets written in 14+ font with pictures and graphics the elderly could read and someone with a sixth grade education could understand but not likely question. Before the "show" began, I read a few of these pamphlets and annotated in their margins my many questions about the content.

The Show-Me Institute's primary goal, according to their website, is to improve "the quality of life for all citizens of Missouri by advancing sensible, well-researched solutions to state and local policy issue." Sounds like a good thing, yes? Of course! They claim to be "rooted in the American tradition of free markets and individual liberty," and are considered a publicly funded charitable organization, or a 501(c)3. Much of the literature handed out re: eduaction (as a teacher of literature, it's very hard for me to lump these types of writings in with the classic ideal of literature, but I digress) is written in first person by one of the organization's staff members James V. Shuls.

Mr. Shuls, like Michelle Rhee, has limited experience in the classroom. He is educated in Southwest Missouri with a bachelors and a masters degree in elementary education and is a PhD candidate in educational policy at University of Arkansas. He taught for four years in SWMO, which is a year longer than Ms. Rhee taught, so he's got that going for him. He is now a staff researcher and "scholar" who uses anecdotal evidence as much as he uses statistical evidence. In his essay "Why We Need School Choice" he uses his children's public education experiences in learning math differently than he was taught and differently than he understood, to prove his children's teachers and their administrator, and the district's methodology was wrong. He cautions his readers that public schools are teaching what they consider "deeper understanding" but they are not teaching them to solve real world problems using a real world approach. Now, I can understand and sympathize with that sentiment as a parent. Every once in a while, my kids bring home something I don't understand. The process is foreign to me, and I wax philosophical about back when I was young and so on. I also understand the frustration when, as a parent, you want what is best for your kids but it doesn't seem like their teachers have the same ideas about what is best. His own limited experience as an elementary teacher certainly makes him more knowledgeable about instruction, but his entire essay is based on the idea that because their way is different, it's wrong. The examples he uses in this essay, the graphics showing the problem-solving techniques his children were learning (or, apparently not learning well) at school show a method of grouping much like my own children experienced in their early elementary days. He makes the point that the teacher wouldn't allow his child to use standard mathematical form of "stacking" numbers used when solving an addition word problem. This method is meant to give the students a visual representation and to increase their analytical problem solving skills so as to apply those same skills when solving more complicated problems. It's a step in a long process, and something parents in my generation didn't learn in school back in the day. As an educator, I know when to step back and allow my kids' teachers to do what is necessary to teach the standards as they see fit, and if I have a question or a concern, I voice it, but I expect the teacher to do what he/she feels is best in his/her professional opinion. I trust the professional of an elementary classroom because that educator has been trained to teach that level.

Another of Mr. Shul's essays is entitled "The Salary Straightjacket: The Pitfalls of Paying All Teachers the Same" and is one of the key components of many school reformers' arguments for merit pay and competitive market-based salaries. In this essay, Mr. Shuls argues that traditional salary schedules that promote experience and education "fail to reward teachers based on their quality" and "fail to recognize that teaching different subjects and grade levels requires different skill sets and that those particular skill sets are in varying demand in the marketplace." What Shuls fails to realize is that teaching is not a market-based industry. It is a public service whereby education students are taught the skill sets of teaching, a very specific skill set indeed. Ask anyone who has quit teaching after a year or a few years on the job. It is a difficult job no matter what one teaches. Varying salaries based on competition in the marketplace is not the answer. He claims that "simply raising salaries for all teachers" would not solve the problem of attracting more and better qualified teachers to the profession. He uses his own tabulation of average salaries of teachers of varying subjects and concluded that STEM (science, technical, engineering and math) teachers, on average, actually make LESS than teachers of other subjects. He states that his information comes from DESE (the Missouri Department of Elementary and Secondary Education), but when using his documented sources, no information for these subjects is given. The data he has "tabulated" is not well documented, or not correctly documented. Furthermore, given the challenges of teaching in today's political and public school climates, STEM teachers may not last as long, thereby earning less because they have options that many other subjects' teachers do not have. As a chemistry teacher, for example, the options for getting a non-public education job are greater than that of an English teacher or an elementary teacher. Plus, he admits that coaching and extra curricular salaries are not accounted for, but then questions why coaches should be paid more at all (what?!?!). In other essays, he argues for private school vouchers and scrutinizes the Common Core State Standards because proponents of these standards use the term "deeper meaning" (to which he refers to his previous essay regarding his kids' learning of math and the teacher's use of the same terminology). Mr. Shuls is part of a group who wants to demonize public schools and all they do so that tax dollars can subsidize their kids' private education (because public schools just aren't good enough but they don't want to pay high dollar for private schools).

Essentially, the group who brought Michelle Rhee to Kansas City has a role to play in Missouri politics. There's a group like the Show-Me Institute in every state that works hard to bend the ears of politicians so that their agenda of bringing about vouchers and charter schools owned and operated by corporations (but which have little oversight by those who oversee public education). They want to privatize education in our country in order to create a steeper divide between the haves and have-nots. Michell Rhee, with her pithy comments and witty retorts, her platitudes about how we should give parents choices in who educates their children, all points to the same thing: we want our kids in better schools where they don't have to sit next to the poor, behaviorally challenged, special ed kid and learn things like tolerance and how a democratic society actually should work. We want our kids to be in top-rated schools where special ed kids don't even get chosen to attend, but we don't want to have to pay for it, and we don't want our tax dollars to go anywhere else but to our own kids' schools - the ones who can say no to "problem" children or children with needs unlike our own kids'.

Rhee commented more than once that unless we (the audience members) were willing to send our kids to schools with "ineffective teachers" (oh, I just love that phrase), then the schools had every right to evaluate and dismiss such "ineffective teachers" without prejudice. She argues for no teacher tenure so that administrators can "get rid of" teachers who "fail" their kids. Like so many listening attentively to this sort of politically-charged hyperbole, she actually believes that there is a national crisis (and to hear her and others like her talk, you'd think it was of epic proportions) of bad teachers out there, and that those teachers, instead of being supported and given a chance to improve, which is what tenure actually does (but I'll get to that later), should be fired at will. With this mentality, no teacher would ever make it past his or her first year!

Teaching is a skill unlike any other. It is one that must be honed with practice, good leadership, good mentoring, and support from administrators and parents. In an ideal world, teachers would be held up in such high regard that teacher training would include a paid stipend for a year spent co-teaching with an experienced teacher followed by another year (or two) of co-teaching with full salary. Like an apprenticeship, teachers would learn from other highly qualified teachers. However, we have programs like Teach for America and districts like KCMO who hire people with no experience, no student teaching, and little education in education to teach the most vulnerable and needy students: our inner city kids. These teachers are often placed in charter schools or low-performing schools to replace teachers who have been involuntarily reassigned or terminated due to budget cuts. Because an inexperienced teacher makes FAR less money than an experienced one, they save the district a bundle, yet the results are less than favorable most often. Many teachers in TFA, for example, quit teaching altogether after their required years of service or they find jobs in suburban districts, leaving the most vulnerable population in need of more teachers to fill their spots; and the cycle begins again.

Teacher turnover is at an all-time high, and that is a problem for districts and for kids. What so many of these so-called reformers fail to recognize is that teaching is not for everyone, and not just anyone can do it well. Yes, there are ineffective teachers out there. How many? Not half the number these reformers would have us believe. Probably not even a quarter. What they really want is to avoid paying teacher salaries with tax dollars, just as some of these same people want to end many public services - or at least de-fund them to the point where privatization is necessary. This is the capitalist's dream. Ending teacher "tenure" is high on their agenda, too.

What is teacher tenure, though? In many states - most states - teachers receive tenure after a probationary period of somewhere between 3 and 5 years, typically. During one's probationary period, if a teacher is doing a poor job, he/she is given job targets or, like in my district, placed on "intensive evaluation," which is a way for an administrator to look closely at what's going wrong and help the teacher find ways in which to correct or improve in that area. If, at the end of the year or the evaluation cycle, the teacher does not improve, the administrator has the right to not renew that teacher's contract. If the teacher is tenured, a similar process is followed, but more documentation is required. Unlike critics would have the public believe, it's actually not that difficult in this state, or many others, to terminate a teacher's position IF that teacher truly is ineffective or insubordinate. What tenure does is protect a teacher from the arbitrary whims of the administrator or the district to fire at will. It requires proof that the teacher is ineffective. There are, of course, exceptions like when a teacher is doing something illegal or unbecoming of his/her position as a teacher that can call for immediate dismissal. Tenure doesn't protect someone like Cameron Diaz' character in Bad Teacher or Jack Black's character in School of Rock.

When organizations like the Show-Me Institute get involved in public education policy, it spells b-a-d n-e-w-s for schools and for students in impoverished areas. When their chief goal is to advance "policies that protect and promote free-market capitalism and unleash the energies of a free people to make (their) state a better place for all" and they attempt to do so by promoting homeschooling, private school vouchers, charter schools, and removing "low-performing (teachers) from the classroom," through intimidation and false, unsupported rhetoric, it is a lose-lose situation for all. These are the same people who want to end corporate income tax because these taxes "damage" the economy, and they believe in trickle-down economics (austerity). They are the same group who lobby full-time for the repeal of the Affordable Care Act and fight to end subsidies for alternative energy and to privatize public employees' pensions.In a nutshell, they want more for themselves and less for others.

I'm not sure if Michelle Rhee knows or even cares who sponsored her "discussion" with the public. Her answers to the audience's questions boiled down to the same sound bites she's been giving for the last few years, and when pressed, she often reduced her answers to the same, tired, platitudes she gave in her talk with Crosby Kemper III (who, by the way, is the Chairmen of the Board of Directors for the Show-Me Institute). While she was personable and perky, she pandered. She tried to make a room full of public educators (and a sprinkling of uncomfortable-looking legislators and tea party members of KC society in the front rows) believe that she was on our side, that she believed in public education when she cannot possibly believe in it if she believes vouchers are a viable solution. She also claimed from the onset that she was, is, and always will be a democrat, which was a thinly-veiled attempt to win the majority of her audience over (or at least make us think she is one of us) so as to possibly prevent too much heckling.

I have to hand it to the audience though. While her supporters were seemingly in the minority in that room, we behaved exceptionally well for people who could see the enemy before us (and with no protective barrier to keep her safe). We acted like professionals, which is what we are. We are trained to teach, we take our jobs very seriously, and we are effective at being teachers, counselors, mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, and the biggest advocates of children who come from all walks of life, who survive some of the most horrible childhoods, who suffer from medical, mental, and learning disabilities, who come hungry, cold and tired, and we do this because we love those kids. We have hope in their futures. We care about what they learn and how they learn it. We want the very best for every kid that walks through our classroom doors. So Michelle Rhee can keep talking out her ass about her short tenure as a teacher (did I say that it was only 3 years?) and her short career as the chancellor of a disorganized, ineffective district which was later proven to have falsified test scores under Rhee's leadership, a scandal she claims was "not widespread." She can pretend that she is one of us all she wants, too, but we know she is no friend of public education. She is no friend to kids whose parents cannot afford to place them in private schools who don't have to accept kids with low test scores or learning disabilities. She can promote her book and her Teachers First initiative that brings her a boatload of money through speaking engagements and signings and reap the rewards of a career based on rhetoric and no substance, on the politicization of public school funding, and on the demonization of teachers all she wants. We have been fighting this war for a very long time; and there are more us than of her. We have heart. We have belief. We have the strength to outlast any false prophets of privatization. We will win, but we have to let our voices be heard loudly, and we have to tell the truth about education without fear. We are the way to a better society. The kids we teach now will be the leaders of tomorrow, and we can give them heart, belief, and strength to do what is right for the next generation, too.

That is all.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Goodness Sucks

Our boys truly tested my strength as a mother and as a good person. So many times I've had to choose to do the right thing when I might have otherwise chosen my own selfish wants had it not been for the four sets of brown eyes watching my every move. Ask any parent of a musical child: elementary and middle school concerts are painful. We go to be there for our kids, to show our support for them and their classmates who have worked hard to bring us the joy of music. B and I reluctantly attend every concert, every fundraiser, every game in which our teenage son carries that cumbersome sousaphone while marching in step with his band. We sigh ever time an event comes up, but we show up. We sincerely congratulate them and his mates for a job well done. While the bleachers numb our buns and cause excruciating sciatic pain, we endure for our sons. They are our world, and I believe they know this.

Tonight I witnessed a side effect of our constant, if sometimes challenging, love. Our eldest was faced with a moral dilemma. He chose what was right over his own desires. He didn't like it, but he made the right choice without a guilt trip from me. I didn't have to tell him what was right; he knew. He grumbled and tried to take his cake and eat it too, but realized he had to make the decision to do what his conscience dictated. I am terribly proud of that bratty, moody, infuriating teenager. It sucks being good, but that's what makes life worth it. Every once in a while our parenting is highlighted in a positive way. Today, we won the gold.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Teaching Today

After two snow days this week, which followed two last week, I am reminded why I still teach, even though I truly do not enjoy it any longer: vacation days and snow days. No other job provides the simultaneous excitement when both the kids and mom have a day off in the middle of the week due to this beautiful crystallized water falling from the sky.

This realization that I have to go back tomorrow and endure another day of teaching, that I need to grade those papers that I didn't touch while at home or lesson plans I didn't work on but read and wrote and played game apps and watched movies instead, makes me seriously consider a sick day. Why not? I've got something like 29 saved up.

The problem isn't the papers or the lesson plans, or even the kids. It's the fact that I want to inspire but I'm told to stick to the standards, to teach only the prescribed curriculum. If I teach exactly what the kids will be tested, I'll be a good little teacher whose evaluations will reflect a genuine aptitude for teaching.



The author of _The Little Prince_, Antoine de Saint-Exupery, once wisely stated, "If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." And yet...

Teachers are told to show the kids how to collect the wood, to assign them tasks that prove they know how to hammer correctly, how to sand adequately, and how to wax well enough to pass the waxing test. We get kids who know how to complete tasks, but we don't have kids who feel inspired to want to do them. Has anyone ever thought, "Hmm, maybe what we are teaching them isn't inspiring. Maybe what we are teaching is, in fact, effing boring"? I have. Every day for the last 13 years. Ever since my own kids started school, too. Even more so since then.

I love teaching novels. Not because I love the stories (although I do), but because we can talk about big ideas. The curriculum tells me I should be teaching the students about literary devices and elements of fiction, which is all good and fine and whatever IF I want a bunch of drones who know what a theme is and can pick it out of a lineup. However, they aren't inspired by that! Talk to them about why people believe what they believe, why we think the way we think, and why a character is so damn annoying (yes, Holden Caulfield, I'm talking to you!), and you get kids who are inspired to want to know more. Do they have to read every word of the novel to get that? No. Do they want to? More do than don't.

I use a circus analogy all the time with my kids (the school ones and the home ones), and I believed it had served me well over the years. We (the ring leaders) ask the kids to jump through various hoops throughout their educational careers. We start with really big hoops like writing one's name or adding two single-digit numbers. As the years go on, the hoops get more difficult to get through, but there is still that "reward" of passing another level (grade) so they can move on to a series of even more difficult hoops. Many get bored, just like a large cat would. The whip has to be cracked, and they have to feel a tiny bit threatened in order to get back in line with the others. That's why we have grades and GPAs. They don't want to get to the end and it all be for naught, do they?

When my students get bored, I remind them about the hoops in life and in school. We have to get through this one so we are closer to the prize. I've been such a sage to give such grand advice... Except now I am going to call BS on myself.

Who wants to jump through a bunch of hoops only to face more hoops? That sounds awful! No wonder student apathy is so great in schools like mine. What's the point in getting an education today only to face the idea of poverty if one doesn't go get more education? And don't stop there, because the other guy has an advanced degree. Better get that, too. For what? A low-level management job in a corporation that could lay you off the next day because they care more about the bottom line than the livelihood of their employees, and there is a dozen more like you waiting to get their feet in the door?

But I digress...

I can't inspire kids any longer with aspirations of more education to get a good job. Our country doesn't value hard work anymore. It values the almighty dollar. University administrators do not care about the students but about their parents' wallets. And school boards don't care about the students' well being or their love of learning; they care about how much money they can get from the state (who wants to kill public schools, mind you) and how to reduce the budget as much as possible by reducing the number of teachers, all the while tying those teachers' salaries to test scores of the students who don't care because they aren't inspired.

Aw, man. This is bleak. I think I need a vacation.

So what is the solution? Like a damn drone, I'll continue to jump through my own hoops to reach that golden prize: retirement. And, hopefully, if I'm still young and healthy enough to enjoy it, I'll get the chance to be inspired myself.